As part of our ongoing commitment to supporting our school community, we’re excited to share details from our recent parenting program focused on helping children manage anxiety.

Anxiety Coach Course: Empowering Parents

The course teaches how to manage your child’s anxious behaviour. Tailored for parents of kids aged 4-12, it offers a “5-star model” to guide children through anxiety with confidence. A component of this course discussed some foundational ideas that will be outlined in this article: maturity, locus of control, and self-regulation.

1. Maturity: Balancing Emotions

One way to view maturity is how well children adjust their emotions to match the significance of life events. Young children, still developing maturity, might act as if the world is going to end because little Johnny is using their favourite blue pen. Their brains aren’t yet developed to assess scale. Parents can help by:

  • Teaching Coping Strategies: Explicitly explain techniques (e.g., deep breathing) and model calm responses to tough moments—like staying patient when plans change unexpectedly
2. Internal vs. External Locus of Control

This concept explores where children place control over their lives:

  • Internal Locus: Believing their actions shape outcomes fosters effort and resilience.
  • External Locus: Attributing results to luck or others can lead to helplessness, poor stress management, and even depression.

From a Christian lens, balance matters—over-relying on God’s control might dodge responsibility manifesting in a let go and let God mindset whereas, over-emphasizing self-reliance risks pride. Parents can nurture an internal locus by encouraging kids to own their decisions and responsibilities while grounding them in faith and humility.

3. Self-Regulation and Resilience

Self-Regulation: Adults can regulate themselves with techniques such as exercise, self-talk, prayer, scripture and many others. For children, emotional regulation kicks in around age 4, enabling some reasoning—like talking to their parents whilst experiencing low level distress. However, it starts with co-regulation with parents: staying calm with an upset child helps them learn self-regulation and invites them to join your calm presence. Co-regulation underpins self-regulation. It is often said that a dysregulated adult never regulates a dysregulated child.

 

Resilience: Defined as bouncing back from adversity, resilience grows through facing challenges not avoiding them. Overprotection (helicopter parenting) weakens adaptability and can deprive children of developing resilience. Instead, parents can help build their child’s resilience by:

  1. Letting kids struggle before stepping in, boosting frustration tolerance.
  2. Encouraging safe risks like climbing a tree or buying milk and bread from the shops.
  3. Allowing natural consequences (e.g., forgetting their hat and having to play in the shade for the day).
  4. Letting kids practice and resolve peer conflicts first, fostering problem-solving. Avoid involving adults in small issues or too early.

The course emphasized that “Resilience is constructible. We build it experience by experience.” Allowing our children to avoid adversity makes them more fragile over time, we as parents need to practice being comfortable with our children’s discomfort.

Are you noticing signs of anxiety in your primary-aged child? Our Anxiety Course is here to help! Designed for parents, this research-backed program provides practical strategies to reduce stress and build resilience in your child. Learn how to support their mental well-being with guidance tailored to their developmental needs. Register for the waitlist here.