If I were to conduct a poll among parents about how they’re feeling today, I suspect I would have more than one person tell me they were feeling overwhelmed, stressed, tense, anxious or even drowning in all the things currently happening in life. Some might say they feel scattered, fragmented, torn in several directions at once, have too much to deal with or that everything is just too hard. For some reason, Term 4 in the school year seems to be the worst time for this. (Okay, that was a sarcastic remark – end of year activities are great times to celebrate, but when we have several children, they can start to push us close to the edge.)
I’m not going to get into any debates about whether the term “overwhelm” should be used as a noun but it has sneaked into use as a colloquial expression in our language, so I’ll use it that way. Why are so many of us feeling overwhelmed? I include myself in the “us” too! Today’s parents have enormous responsibilities and high expectations of themselves. Parenting is a big one, along with relationships, work, health, financial just to name a few. We can feel overwhelmed with the choices we need to make. Going into the supermarket and trying to decide which sauce to buy can cause us to stress. (Do I want the Australian made product, the cheapest, what size, what ingredients are in it? The list goes on!) A third issue parents face are distractions. Our smartphones are great tools which enable us to be online all the time. This has both positive and negative ramifications for us. On the negative side, being available all the time, means we are often frequently distracted. The ping of an email or notification can be difficult to ignore. Being constantly distracted makes it difficult for us to stick to and concentrate on the task at hand. If we’re not careful, it affects the way we interact with people, particularly those closest to us and social media can consume our time. Our poor brains are constantly processing things, darting from one thought to another and we can feel all over the place.
So, what can I do when I’m feeling overwhelmed by everything? Firstly, I can STOP. (Trust me here, it’s worth doing!) Take a few minutes just to sit quietly (or pray). We then need to do a “brain dump”. I get several sheets of paper and title each one with something that concerns me (whether it’s work or personal). On each sheet, I then write down anything about that topic that comes to mind. The purpose of doing this is to get it all out of my head. I then look at each sheet and the issues on it and ask myself two questions. “Can I do something about this? If so, what?” If there is something, I make note of it on a separate piece of paper, so I don’t forget it. If there’s nothing I can do about something, I let it go (or I hand it to God in prayer). Worrying about things we can’t change only stresses us. We are then free to focus on our priorities and enjoy life a little more. At this time of year, I urge parents, don’t expect too much of yourself. I challenge you to try this exercise and focus on one day at a time. I would be interested to hear how you go.
