Separation anxiety can be a normal experience for young children returning to or starting school. The experience of anxiety usually reduces over time as the child develops trust with their teacher and learns that the school environment is a safe place to be. Often the child’s distress when separated at drop-off only lasts about 10 minutes, however, rest assured that this distress is not indicative of a poor attachment.

This type of anxiety can also be exacerbated by a recent loss the child has experienced, such as the death of a beloved pet or having recently moved houses. At times of loss, some children will need an extra dose of comfort and reassurance from their parents and teachers to help them process these challenging experiences and manage their anxieties.

One aspect of separation anxiety that is often overlooked is that some parents can have separation anxiety as well. Parents must be aware of their own thought patterns and emotional reactions both leading up to and during school drop-off. It’s important for parents to regulate their own emotions during these times to model to their children that they will be safe whilst at school. Children are very quick to pick up on their parents’ emotional states and will often act accordingly, either in helpful or unhelpful ways.

Many parents can struggle emotionally throughout the day if their child had to be left at school upset. Having a plan of what you can do to help calm yourself once you leave your child can be an important part of getting through these difficult times. Organizing your day with a to-do list will help reduce the possibility of dwelling on “little Johnny’s” emotional distress. Speaking with and gaining the support of other parents and family members can also provide needed comfort and reassurance. It is very important for parents to avoid putting their children down by saying things like “Don’t be such a baby” or punishing them for crying at the point of separation.

It is possible for a parent to impede upon the healthy development of their child if they consistently and purposefully avoid situations where separation is necessary. If you or your child is struggling with separation it is always better to reach out for support sooner rather than later.

If you are concerned about your child and would like to refer them to the school counsellor, please contact front reception 07 3897 2990 or email admin@mueller.qld.edu.au.