It can be quite normal for children to express reluctance about attending school. The key is to acknowledge their thoughts and feelings and to be able to coach them through those experiences rather than shutting it down. Potential triggers for this behaviour might include sensitivity to the bullying of others, a classroom environment with loud noises, academic work that feels too difficult, or experiences of exclusion or relational aggression. The goal is to validate their feelings and, in a calmer moment, explore the root cause and start developing ways of solving those problems.
Watch Maggie Dent from Parent TV for more information.
Key Takeaways
* Validate your child’s feelings about not wanting to go to school.
* Respond calmly rather than reacting.
* Explore the underlying triggers for their anxiety.
* Common triggers include sensitivity to others’ distress, academic challenges, or negative social interactions.
* A predictable morning routine, 9-12 hours of sleep for primary aged children and a consistent goodbye ritual can manage separation anxiety.
Try It This Week
* When your child expresses reluctance, take a deep breath and respond calmly.
* Acknowledge their feelings and set a time to discuss the reasons later if now is inappropriate. Work at possible solutions.
* Maintain a predictable morning routine to build psychological safety.
* Use a consistent, brief goodbye ritual (e.g., a hug, a phrase) to signal the separation.
* Always say goodbye to maintain predictability, avoid sneaking off.
* Speak with your child’s teacher about any ongoing challenges that may be occurring.
If your child’s anxiety about school persists longer than two weeks, is worsening despite your help or is impacting their everyday activities it is time to reach out for help. If you would like any further support, please feel free to contact the school counsellors Mrs Ebony Harmer or Mr Anthony Ryan by emailing counsellor@mueller.qld.edu.au.
